Friday, April 5, 2013

searching for a blog

While searching for the perfect blog to read, one about a struggling yet determined young mother finding insight and perspective in daily musings and less-than-heroic prose , I realized I might be searching for my own.  It's been ages since I have written here. Alot has changed-two moves and a new little baby boy.  But what hasn't changed is my desire to connect - to the world and those around me, and to my own self and the Divine which are different in essence and yet inseparable.  So in searching for wisdom, within and without, I found this old blog template and a lost art of blogging, and though I may not end up with a throng of avid followers, I may end up with a little more insight and a little more  fulfillment, in sharing my story.  Here's to beginning again :-)

'We carry within us the wonders we seek without us.'
-Eric Butterworth

Monday, December 5, 2011

This weeks goals

At one of my favorite blogs,, she posts her weekly goals and I find them very intriguing and inspiring so I decided I'm going to start doing the same.  If for no other reason, than to hold myself accountable.  Here are this week's goals:

Family/mothering Goals:

-At least one story time, and one visit to the library for new books
-At least one new fun activity for this week (I'll post about that)
-Keep morning and bed time routine consistent

Personal Goals:

-At least one good long Yoga session (I have to stay small on this goal because it's really hard for me to get motivated)
-One long aerobic exercise session
-Help Laura with one of the children's classes in the area this week
-One Blog entry a day

Home Management:

-One DIY seasonal decoration
-Millet oatmeal cookies
-Complete chores for the week

Friday, December 2, 2011

When you feel like giving up

I want to give up on blogging, on goals, on organization, and zone out in front of the tv with a pan of cinnamon buns.  I want to hide from the world with my stomach ache and heart ache and over active mind- the hustle and bustle of running around in circles with my thoughts going nowhere, which is where many thoughts, that stay just thoughts, will lead you. 

Because in this day and age it's not important what you think, really- well to the extent that thought is creative and leads to action it is, but I mean... in the long run, what I think, about me, those around me, my lack of direction and inability to conquer certain reoccuring challenges (such as eating the whole pan of cinnamon buns...again)- these are not so important, especially when they stay cooped up in my head weighing me down like a shackle....

They are like shackles.  And I know too well how thoughts can create a prison of self: familiar grooves in brain connections comfortably firing their same old pattern of hopelessness. "Woah is me! (hand to head in a dramatic gesture of self pity)." How did I end up here with such a positive upbringing, with high moral direction, and impeccably shiny happy people holding hands all around me as a kid...

I'll tell you- I did not end up here.  This is no ending- I've mistaken my head from my rear- Why this is the beginning!- ahead is where I am going- I do believe I was looking behind me for the last...oh, lets see... 5 days or so: (Since I got the stomach flu on Sunday... that's about when I caught this case of the pity me's).  To conclude... on a postive note, since my head got sidetracked grammatically correcting this nonsence:
 x( Problem) + y (solution) = hmmm...

 x (Life) -- y( problem) = solution, wait... that's not right either.  I don't even know if I can fit an x and y in there.  Wouldn't that be great if it were a formula.  I think there definitely is a formula but it's more like:  (Oh... well actually this is totally an individual formula) prayer + service, definitely need more of it, so for me: + more service + community (to the power of some big number-not sure how to type that) + one step at a time + COMPASSION (for self AND other) -- any negative self talk + mysterious divine grace (that I so easily forget) = Contentment and fulfillment. 

There.  Piece of Cake.  Check answers by doing the problem backwards: yep- correct.  I think I feel better already...: ) (That so strange to think I feel some way... can you feel your thoughts like you think you feel something- yeah I guess I can really feel my thoughts some times...interesting...)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Beautiful Quote on Service

"I slept and dreamt that life was joy.
I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted and behold, service was joy."
- Rabindranath Tagore

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Deep Breaths

I just recently discovered that if I make my breath long and full like ocean waves while I'm putting Haley to bed, she falls asleep fast, I get relaxed and the night is more peaceful.  Just thought I'd share.

Breath is an amazing tool, for coming into the moment, slowing down, and calming down, and it's hard to talk about breath without breathing more consciously and deeply.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

An itty bitty goal

My little goal for today:
replace 5 minutes of computer madness with 5 minutes of meditation. 
Was it life changing? not really- but it sure did feel satisfying.

I think achieving goals uses spiritual muscles that for me are some what weak at the moment. 
So starting itty bitty is important and soon maybe I'll be able to go for days without plugging in
(thought I guess if I'm going to get serious about blogging that might not work)