Wednesday, April 27, 2011

All in a days work

I've included a bunch of positive affirmations in this post for anyone who might stumble upon this blog and need some affirmations- say them aloud, yeah!
I relax and enjoy life.  I know that whatever I need to know is revealed to me in the perfect time and space sequence.

Oh man, in the words of Dave Matthews, "my head won't leave my head alone."  On the one hand my day was precious and peaceful and full of love- I got to hang with my darling daughter, do some spring cleaning, and watch the rain fall from our covered deck.
I fill my mind with positive thoughts
On the other hand my day was lonely and challenging and full of frustration- I still have only one friend (thank you Holly : ) I yelled at Haley (ugh, I know) and didn't really accomplish much.  Well I guess I'm too hard on myself, like so many people probably.
 I feel the joy of abundance
I stumbled upon a mom's group at the park today (yay) but I felt so awkward being a good 10 years younger than everyone there and with Haley's jacket cut up to use as a sun hat, and barging in on their members only group (I guess it costs $20 a year to join) and nobody really said hi to me except one woman who I went up to to ask if this was a mom's group. 
 I have unlimited potential
I definitely don't want to make this the complaint department but I guess I'm just feeling a little stuck and thought I'd share.  It's good to just get it out.  Who cares what people think.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


1.  WISHES: I wish I could stop eating so much, it's really getting old- I know I can, I can it's a choice, all you will power advocates (mostly in my head I'm sure- there are a lot of them) I wish that my thoughts did not battle so much for a space on the page- it reminds me of this Ram Dass talk I heard where he talks about all his thoughts saying, "pick me, pick me."

2. CERTA PERFECT SLEEPER- this new mattress we got for 90 percent off! I've never slept so hard in my life.  I'm not totally sure its a good thing to sleep so hard- I feel a little disoriented in the morning- like I've traveled to far and foreign lands never before traversed.  I wouldn't recommend it if your little one sleeps in the other room-unless your into the CIO method, which, in order to avoid heated debate, I will not discuss here.

3. RECAP OF THE LAST FEW DAYS: play with Haley, walk to park, walk to graveyard (one of the things you can' t get away from here in these parts-graveyards, ice cream shops, and stop signs)  yoga (delicious break from the hustle and bustle-- oh who am I kidding I don't hustle and bustle actually) Clean, nap, make lists of things to do

4. HALEY'S ACTIVITIES: Bubbles, dance party, matching and sorting, clack the markers together, clack the balls together, really big button bag, climb the cushions, cruise the furniture, food adventures with Tupperware, sign everything, bath, story time, make big newspaper mess, bouncy bouncy

5.HIGHLIGHTS OF MY DAY: Yoga this morning with Holly and Ali (awesome teacher who manages to say just the right thing to get me out of my head), Haley gaining confidence with her crawling and climbing at the golf course- almost to the point of me having to chase after her, This right here- working on a blog with Haley fast asleep and Jon at a friends- quiet solitude for the moment.

Just trying to organize my thoughts a little better. 

Saturday, April 23, 2011

New Beginning

I'm starting this blog to emerge...from my cocoon.  Hopefully I have been growing wings.  I might have just been growing a muffin top...either way I can't just sit around stewing in my thoughts by myself, carrying on way-too-grown-up conversations with my 10 month old, and hoping my mother will not get off the phone so fast, yet again.  No- these are unhealthy occurrences at the tender age of 27, mother or not, new city or not, jobless, or not.  Although I am aware that no mother is really jobless and I do believe, at the core of my being, that motherhood is the most valuable job a woman can have.  With that said, I admit that I do at times entertain thoughts of criticism towards myself and my lack of super woman status.  You know the super woman status...mothers who work and are social butterflies, chauffeurs, cooks, side project starters, phone tree heads, volunteers at all their local service venues, oh and bloggers (I'm one step closer : ).  The truth is I yearn to do more.  I crave a little more activity in my day to day life. There are obstacles- My hubby would say I'm making excuses.  Well he's not actually my hubby we're not married yet, We had been dating for 5 months when I got pregnant. We sold all our belongings to move across the country for a new beginning and to be near the city. We don't own our house, we don't have much furniture, we don't have careers or degrees (well I have a bachelors degree actually- I'll save that for another blog), and we have not mowed the lawn yet (lawns are Pristine around here).