Letting go of Fear

Opportunities are arising.  And as exciting as they are- there's a little part of me that will miss the cozy comfort of isolation and hibernation and...I think I am understanding more about the challenge of opening up to all that I am- that the issue is not in fearing failure or fearing negativity- but in handling the incredible light, the grandeur of being a spiritual being- the true being that I am- that we all are.

 I'm working on saying yes quickly, without hesitation, before my mind catches up with it's ifs ands or buts.  I'm working on running with the positive possibilities, letting go of the illusion that there is anything to fear but fear itself.   

perfectly imperfect

It is my biggest challenge- to break through the illusion that my life should some how look like some one else's.  Blessed be this life I have co-created out of my freedom to choose.  A life that is by no means perfect but filled with perfect moments- of joy and hardship, perfect mis-communications- if their could be such a thing- so that I might remember how to better emulate the person I want to be.  Blessed be the perfect imperfections that plague my dissipating judgement.  And blessed be all those who witness the grace of life unfolding, just as it is, to help us remember all we set out to be. 

God and I played hide and seek in the beautiful birch trees one day
The brilliant sun filtered through leaves,
rustling in the gentle autumn breeze
Ferns shimmeyed joyfully on the forest floor
She tried to hide her huge birthing thighs, and big pillowy bosom
squeezing tightly behind thin white birch poles
laughing boisterously at the ridiculousness of it all
This game, that we insist is so fun, speaks to the children-
we stay eternally children running from branch to branch,
falling and skinning our knees,
pretending not to see the huge grin of Love peeking from around the tree.

More Doing, Less Thinking

Sometimes I long to be one of those people who just has an idea, feels crazy passionate about it, goes for it with wholehearted dedication, and succeeds.  Maybe its never quite that smooth and simple.  Everyone has obstacles I know and the truth is that envy is a space in my life I could really use some spiritual fullness.

 I believe the fullness to fill it up with is gratitude.  Envy is believing I lack what I see, gratitude is seeing all that is there, so that these gifts can expand and fill my perception with spiritual abundance.  Lack is an illusion that I buy into when I am dependant on something other than spirituality. 

So how can I practice this gratitude and truly get better at being grateful.  The thought occured to me that I could think less- he he- I know- it's somewhat obvious, but it was an epiphany for me.  To do more, think less- this is my goal right now. 

In the mood for nonsense

So much to say, where to begin, and so little that is actually neccessary to say, and so many judgements on what takes priority in collecting thoughts to speak about.  And by the time I've collected a culmination of these carefully placed syllables of sound, I find I have all but abandoned the instinctual flow of organically unfolding verbage that so beautifully adornes the self-concious-less heros in my world.  I must think less, or maybe just less about my process of thinking.  Maybe I should take up painting about speaking rather than writing about talking, it might make listening to my thinking more beautiful and less confusing.